The Sun will come out, Tomorrow!
Tomorrow M. and I leave for a week’s vacation to the south of Spain. M.’s uncle/cousin (long story) is getting married over the weekend in Marbella and we figured it would be a great excuse to take a Spring mini-vacation. We’ll be flying into Malaga and then spend a few days in Marbella and Granada.
This vacation we have Rules:
1. No cell phones
2. No laptops
3. No internet
Not sure if I will be able to survive without my daily dose of modern conveniences. At least we compromised on the hairdryer and ipod ;)
So, if you want/need to reach me in the next week---well, you can't!
TTYL,
Dazzle
You've come a long way, baby!
To think this article was published only 50 years ago! It's hard to imagine a time when statements like these were the norm, and fully embraced without question.
Did my grandmothers feel this way? Did they eagerly study such “guidelines” as young girls preparing for a life of marriage?
I was at a conference here in Amsterdam last week on “Women and Leadership” and although the goal of the day was to empower women and help push them into the upper echelons of the business world, I left the day feeling slightly deflated by the reality of the situation. In Holland, women currently only occupy 7 percent of board seats in Dutch companies. And research by the Central Bureau of Statistics indicates that less than 6 percent of people earning in excess of EUR 100,000 in the Netherlands are women.
The attendees of the conference were mostly young Dutch women in their 20’s and although they had all made the effort to attend the conference ---something was definitely lacking in their passion for progress. The keynote speaker started her presentation by rattling off a set of bleak stats concerning women and the Dutch buisness world. She turned to the crowd and cried out “Is this fair?! Are we going to allow this to continue?!”--anticipating uproar from the crowd-- but all she got back was a soft unconvinced murmur from the crowd. Clearly disappointed she shouted back “If you’re not even going to fight for yourselves--don’t expect anyone else too!”
I remind myself that although the situation may sometimes seem bleak, articles such as the one above, from a 1950’s Housekeeping Monthly magazine, put it all into perspective. To quote Virginia Slims infamous slogan, “you’ve come a long way baby!”
Why Blog?
Since I’ve been home sick (again, goddamit!) I’ve had the chance to guiltlessly surf the internet from the depths of blankets and snotty tissues --on a hunt for new and exciting blogs. Of course, there are the ones I read religiously (Petite Anglaise, This Fish, Go fug Yourself,and SupaSuze), however, I recently came across some bloggers living in Holland (Dutch Diary, Dutched Pinay, BicycleMark)each of whom struck a chord.
One entry that particularly jumped out was Dutched Pinay’s “The Anatomy of a Blogger”. "Dutched" essentially comments that all bloggers can be summed up by the following statements:
1. Bloggers have narcissistic traits
2. Bloggers love to write
3. Bloggers are opinionated
4. Bloggers are exhibitionists
5. Bloggers like to show off
6. Bloggers like to share their knowledge/hobby
7. Bloggers blog to communicate with friends and family
8. Bloggers seek friendships
9. Bloggers want to belong to a community
10. Bloggers want to prove something
11. Bloggers want to earn money
Quite a claim! And one, my groggy head was curious to actually delve into. So, how do I rate on this set of traits? (Possibly even asking that very question may confirm number one! )
1. Narcissistic traits? Hmm...I guess that depends who you ask ;) Am I flattered by comments from new/regular readers? Definitely!
2. Love to write? Guilty as charged!
3. Opinionated? Ha! I think my entries here and here may answer that question!
4. Exhibitionist? Does not yet having curtains in my apartment count? Or maybe my foray into the steamy world of Dutch saunas?!
5. Show off? Only in the nicest sense of the word! (and when a stage is involved!)
6. Want to share knowledge/hobby? Yep, if I can.
7. Communicate with fam and friends? Definetly--that’s the main purpose of this blog (however, it has taken a different shape as more and more new readers log on)
8. Seeking friendships? Of course! What's life if not to meet new/interesting people.
9. Want to belong to community? Sure, why not?
10. Want to prove something? In all honesly, can’t say I really do. And if I did--don’t have a clue what it would be! (Maybe that I can out tapdance ya?!
11. Want to earn money? Who doesn’t!--But not with this blog (of course then again, I wouldn’t turn any $$$ away, now would I ;)
So, where does that leave us? I guess number one is the real “biggie” that bloggers ask themselves? Am I doing this for my love of writing? For creativity? For therapy? For fun? Or to figuratively hear myself speak? The answer for most bloggers is probably a combination of all of the above..and of course, let’s be honest here people, it hasn’t been called “vanity publishing” for nothin'!
Tuning in, again.
Last week my Dutch teacher informed me that I am “in the worst possible situation to learn Dutch”. Quite the motivator, eh? Yep! Apparently, I have more than a few strikes against me, which he preceded to list. Firstly, I have no intention to stay in Holland long term (yes, this is indeed true). Secondly, my partner is not Dutch (right, again). Thirdly, I do not need to speak Dutch for work (thank, god or I'd be out of a job), nor do I even have Dutch colleagues to practise Dutch with (only, the one—who’s favourite pastime is shouting out across the busy cafeteria what colour my underwear are! I digress; I will save that anecdote for a blog entry on “the working woman’s guide to the Dutch workplace”). And lastly, I do not regularly socialize with “the Dutch”. As odd as this last point sounds, it is in fact very true. M and I have quite an extended circle of friends, however, on closer inspection---very very few of them are Dutch. As it turns out my closest friends are from anywhere but here--Australia, Canada, US, England Bulgaria, etc. This is not so surprising actually; if you speak to any expat you will most likely find that their closest friends are expats themselves. Who else can best relate to the highs and lows of living in a foreign country?
And so, although I apparently am not in the ideal situation to pick up the language, and the fact that everyone in Amsterdam insists on replying back to me in English, I have found myself really enjoying the classes. When I first moved here, I went out and bought all sorts of Dutch language books, and CDs and tapes. I excitedly read through them, and practised my bit phrases eagerly with anyone who'd listen. But then real life set in, the books were put aside and I eventually stopped even bothering to pick up a new word here and there. It’s funny how easy it is to tune out the world around you. On the bus in the morning, I didn’t even hear the chatter around me anymore, I didn’t try to pick out things I could understand, and instead it all melted into a soft hum. Eventually things got a little too quiet and I realized I had become “that person” who lives in a foreign country without even bothering to learn the language. Trust me, it’s a very easy thing to do. So, here I go, better late than never, right?
Naiveté
I spent my entire childhood trusting that my parents knew all the answers and could conquer any problem or obstacle thrown their way. Of course I eventually realized there were situations, where their magical wand couldn’t be waved and instantly solve everything –like a broken bone, or worse, a broken heart. Although I finally came to this realization with my parents, I have saved up these unrealistic expectations for another group of people: doctors. Regardless of the situation, I expect them to have all the answers, to know all the details, and to be able to wave that magic wand.
Finding out that the man in the white coat across the table from you doesn’t know much more than what you have dug up via a quick Google search is a scary realization. One that’s quite hard to swallow when actual lives are at stake. Of course he was apt to rattle of historical stats and averages, and throw out various hypothetical scenarios. But...he didn’t have the answers. And worst of all, he didn’t even pretend to.
I think we both would have liked a little sugar coating. I knew full well that oncologists, who stare death in the face day in and day out, aren’t the most feel-good people around, however, I did hope for some more certainty, some more conviction in his answers. But he was only being honest, only telling us what he knew for certain, and openly admitting what he, and the general medical community, didn’t fully understand yet. And so, my naïve assumptions came crashing down yet again.
I light of this mess I am amazed every day by C.’s strength. I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like to have your entire life flipped upside-down over night, yet he is handling it with his usual great sense of humour and humility.
